Domestic violence survivors offer hope

SURVIVOR SELF-PORTRAIT (Photo by Wendy Brittanica)

By CATHERINE DONNELLY
Special to the PRESS

“I was abused physically, psychologically and sexually by my husband,” said Port Isabel area resident Wendy L. Brittanica, “and I want the world to know.”

Every day, in the Unites States, three current or former intimate partners will murder the women they’re associated with, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics. Planning and leaving a violent partner can be the most dangerous parts of the relationship. The time following the victim leaving is when the abuser feels that there is nothing for them to lose if they stalk, kidnap, assault or murder the person who has just escaped. More than half of female homicide victims in the U.S. are killed by a current or former male intimate partner according to the CDC.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month in our country, but help is always available for the men, women and children who are faced with domestic abuse. Research shows that it can take approximately 7 attempts before a survivor permanently leaves an abusive partner. It’s important to remember that leaving is a process.

The consequences of domestic abuse resonate throughout someone’s lifetime and can affect their self-worth and their future relationships. It’s crucial for victims of abuse to get the counseling help they need, though not everyone will receive it. Survivors of domestic violence are three times more likely to develop a major depressive disorder or be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder than those who have not experienced violence, according to the Respond, Inc. website.

“I ended a violent relationship in 1999,” said Patty Marshall, whose name was changed for privacy, “but I know that as far as relationships go, I subconsciously tend to scare off men before they have a chance to hurt me emotionally or physically.”

Wendy Brittanica relates that she was brought up in violence and proceeded to have three abusive marriages. The last one lasted ten years and was so bad that she lived for more than a year barricaded in her room from her husband in the home that they shared.

“One of the reasons why I stayed so long, is that he only started being abusive and controlling about three years in,” said Brittanica, “but I was also a foreign national trying to become an American citizen and he used that to threaten and control me.”

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